Creativity....

This year, a new friend showed me how to make tutu's, and in exchange for a massage bought all the materials I needed to make them for my nieces. And... so, I let my creative juices flow, and created costumes for my nieces for halloween this year... for one day, the sweet girls got to be a butterfly and a lady bug. They were so cute and we had lots of fun dressing up!!!

A glimpse of the MOST beautiful wedding!

lonely.

This week has been a hard one.

I'm lonely.

I'm frustrated.

I've a serious lack of motivation.

God doesn't feel near.

Thing aren't happening the way I desperately want them to at work.

My dog is having some... uh hum... digestive issues.

I miss my family.

I miss my friends.

Life just seems HARD, and stagnant.

I'm starting to feel restless.

The thing is my life ISN'T that hard. Really, my day to day struggles are nothing compared to what others are going through, or even what I myself have walked through. But today, just my little plate feels heavy. I think I'm just throwing myself a pity party but, this week, I really wish I had someone special to just talk to, to share life with, to make decisions with, to help pay bills, to encourage me and uplift me. I wish it didn't feel like I was doing it all alone.

Life here in Northern California hasn't slowed down. I'm working anywhere from 40 to 50 hours a week, relishing spending time with my niece on days off, and we (my cousin, her family and myself) all moved, and my Aunt is here for an extended visit. In a couple weeks I head back to Washington for my baby sisters wedding and to visit family. It will have been almost 6 months since I've seen any of them, the longest I have gone.

I'm not sure if I announced if my cousin is pregnant! We consider this wee babe a blessing. He/she will be so loved and I'm excited to yet again be an "Auntie". These last couple days Quin has been feeling the first few flutters of the life that grow inside her.

I'm still looking for a church home. I don't always make it to church, and often work Sunday mornings. THe fun part is that I usually do get to go to church with the teenagers I work for, and that is really cool.

Work has had it's challenges. I use to be assigned the level 14 girls home, they moved me to the level 12 girls home, but lately I've been filling in at the Level 14 boys home. I thought it would be scarier to work with level 14 mental ill adolescent boys, than the girls. I was wrong. I actually really enjoy it, and maybe that is even my strength.

I'm finding it's hard to meet young people. I've made, and already even lost a few friends, just coming to a realization they weren't they kind of people I WANT to be friends with. Through that process, I was reminded why we MUST lean on God in our lives, and no depend on others to fill voids.

I'm refocusing on God, and trying to once again make him the CENTER of my life.

Summer is coming to a close and I can hardly believe that. My other nice comes home from her Dads, who lives across the country, in 2 days and I'm excited to have the sweet girl home.

That's it for now !

At work we enjoy taking the kids to the "horse program" a ranch that rehabilitates horses, and allows our kids to work with them. Since I can't post pics. of the kids, here are some that don't include them...

The newest horse. He's young and has lots of personality. His "scoop" back makes him not show quality so he's been donated. The Ranch has plans to naturally smooth out his back.

Ducks! They're so funny and have no problem sharing the pastures with horses!
Jewel, she's one of my favorites. She is a paint was was neglected and severely malnourished but has put on most of the weight she needs to in order to be considered healthy. SHe has the MOST amazing blue eyes, which I didn't know was possible in horses!!!
Just a pretty shot outside a house of my company....

sunset while camping with the girls.
They have a fun street fair/market in town every Thurs. THis Dog was just funny to see while strolling the Market.
Teaching my niece to swim... she loves water but isn't a fun of being on her back. She can float for about 4-5 seconds though!
This was in the bathroom where we got my cousins ultra sound done. This my friends, is one reason why I choose abstinence until marriage. THe chart shows how many "people" you have been exposed to if your current partner has had the same # of other previous partners as you..... so if you've had just 4 partners, and so has your current partner, you've been exposed to 14 other people...
The girls and I saved this baby gopher (who was missing a foot), from certain death! We called wild life rescue and rehab.
my bride's maid's dress and my "Nieces" flower girl dress
My puppies ears covered in weird sticky plant things. I had to shave her ears because of this, they had never been shaved before and I wanted to CRY!!! She had such soft long curly ears!
I live in the middle of nowhere, seriously, we see deer on a weekly basis, I've seen wild bob cats, heard of mountain lion and bear sighting, have saved a baby gopher, seen wild vultures and quail.. and this my friends is one in a flock of wild turkeys that round around my work.
My friends sweet son Peter and I.
Buggie and I on the 4th of July... blessed to be Free!

I've always wanted to be 24!!!!

AT 9:33 this morning, I turned 24 years old. I don’t know why but, I’ve wanted to be 24 for a long time. Something about 24 seems exciting and special. I just have a feeling this will be a big year for me. Plus, many of the amazing mentoring women I have in my life, I met when they were 24.

This is the first year in quite a few that I can say I am happy to be where I am at. Im happy to be who I am. I’m happy. I know it's because I'm working hard to no longer place my happiness on circumstances. I'm working to daily find Joy that comes only from knowing my Creator. Yet, it is also because circumstances have changed that I feel so good to be alive, and rejoicing that God has given me 24 full years on earth. It's because of the obedience I took this year in following a new and unchartered path. It's because, for me and my family, I took the road less traveled by. And God has blessed my obedience.

This year I am rejoicing in who God made me to be. Today I am remember the scriptures that say
 “


Psalms 139: 13-15 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

This year, I do and will continue to truly embrace this. I am WONDERFULLY made. All my days were ordained for me. These are things I have a hard time believing about myself. I want to embrace them.


And who knows... maybe my 25th year will be the year God shows me Mr. Right for me :0).... I've always said I wanted to get married when I'm 25..... lol. If not, I'm ok with that too. Gods showing me just how special I am on my own.

Make new friends....

Moving to a new place is hard. For 20+ years, I lived in the same town, neighborhood, house. I graduated with people I went to kindergarden with. I had friends, family, neighbors, mentors, etc. who I'd known for all to most of my life. There was always somewhere to go when I was bored, or lonely, or antsy, or anything really. At the same time though, I had come to a point of stagnation. I wasn't meeting new people, or building any more meaningful relationships/friendships. Life was at a standstill. I had good in my life but, I wasn't happy.

So on a whim and a prayer, I packed my car and headed south. I know I know, I've said it before but, it's what I did. I found a job. I started to make acquaintances. Some acquaintances became friends. The first real friend I made is L. She was a co-worker of mine and I can't help but believe that fate brought me to my job just a few weeks before she quit because we were meant to be friends. She's amazing. I ran into L. and her wife T. at a park where I go to read, and relax. When I mentioned not knowing if I was going to have enough gas to make it through the day because I was called into work and couldn't deposit my check in time, these two women, one who barely knew me and one who had never met me, handed me a $10 bill and told me to go get gas. I don't know if either of them realizes how much that meant to me. I walked away from them with tears in my eyes because it had been a long time since someone was so generous to me in that way, and because L. and I had made plans to hike the next day. I had needed someone to spend time with that was not my cousin. I had needed a friend of my own here, and I just had a feeling that she could be a good friend, that she was an answer to my prayers. We began going on walks/hikes together, one night she made me an amazing dinner, and we went to see Iron Man 2 together. Fun times. I regret not taking photos of our small adventures.

Up to this point, it hadn't worked out for me to spend much time with T. and since L. was heading out of state for awhile. I decided to make a point in spending time with T. while L. was gone and for some reason, T. accepted my offer to hang out :0). I'm glad she did. We spent an entire day together, and eventually, several more days. Both these women are amazing people. They are generous and kind, smart and beautiful, and have taught me so much already. They are incredibly respectful of who I am and what I believe and I look forward to getting to know them more. On one of our first adventure, T. took my Kayaking, something I had never done before and found to be rather enjoyable. I would so go again! Here are some photos of that adventure. I look forward to documenting many more adventures with my new friends, and of my life here in a small mountain town of California.

It's easy to get caught up in frustrations and disappointments of your circumstances. Easy to focus what you don't have, and what you want. Way to often I find myself coveting what another has that I don't.

Then, just when I get caught up in self pity, God reminds me that I'm doing pretty good. God reminds me how well he has taken care of me. God shows me where I COULD be....