Careful what you wish for...

The last month or so, maybe longer, I've been "unhappy" with my little car, a 2001 Volkswagon Jetta. I've been finding all these little things "wrong" with it, being nit picky about it. I decided I wanted to sell it and get a new one. Well, Thursday I was looking at cars for sale on craigslist and wishing I could get one.

This weekend my brother fell asleep behind the wheel of my Jetta and most likely totalled it.

He is ok, Praise the Lord.

Looks like I might be getting what I wished for.... a different car. Now, I really don't want to go through the hassle of finding one.

Dang it.

Joshua Blair

My Aunt Christina got a 3D ultrasound as a gift from me. She is sending me a disk of all the picture but until then... He has a big nose and big feet! His heart look perfect and strong and he has amniotic fluid in his tummy, a good thing for this point in pregnancy. My Aunt is 30 weeks. The ultrasound tech is so sweet. She has a policy that if the baby doesn't cooperate for sexing or keeps it's hands in front of it's face she will reschedule you free of charge. Even though they got a lot of good shots and my Aunt and Uncle were satisfied, the lady said she wasn't and scheduled them for another one on thursday! He is an active little guy!

2nd confirmation: It's definately a boy.
Sweet baby face
He has the Williams big "roman" nose. IT looks a lot like my Dads. 
Already A Prayer Warrior
I love him so.

FFF # 9 REd White and Blue (skipped last week, no dance photos).

I have so many favorite photos from this week it's not funny! I hav 1 red, white and blue photo. I guess I was to busy having fun and trying not to think about losing my grandpa two days before to take many pictures. It was a really blessing to have a holiday so soon after.

My two FAVORITE kiddos under year :) . Gabriel is 9.5 months old now, 21 pdsa nd 31 inches! He has a big head and is big for a breast fed baby. He LOVES my Dog and screams out of excitement. Yesterday I got to steel my nephew from my mom and take him to Gabes house. Gabe never uses a bottle but saw Zackery using one and kept stealing it. Zackery was NOT happy about that! So we found one for Gabe and put juice in it.
Zackery recently had his 2nd hair cute. The lady actually did a pretty horrible job but, he looks so darn cute anyway. He is getting a lot more expression in is face. He is 11 months old, 21 pounds and 28 inches long. A short fat little thing!
My BEST friend Alicia and I waiting for it to get dark to enjoy the firework show.
Kalika's red white and blue. I think she was the MOST festive! Lol.

My nephew is so behind.

My Nephew is 11 months old today! I can hardly believe it!

He had a check up today. He is now 21 pounds and 28 inches long! He sure is growing fast. AT birth he was 6pd 11ounces and 19.5 inces long.

He saw one of my favorite physicians assistants. T. went to work in the ER over a year ago and we were sooo... sad. He is back at our clinic again, I guess he just missed us, and Zackery got to see him again. The Dr. my mom had been taking him to was really starting to get on our nerves. Zackery is so far behind physically and the Doctor has kept saying "we will see where he is in 3 more months". Then, Zackery kept getting ear infections etc. and the doctor kept post poning his well child check up since he'd seen him for those. The only problem was, he wasn't doing the exams when he checked his ears.... grrr.

I'd been beginning to think maybe my nephew was somewhat mentally delayed as well. I didn't say anything because he is such a bright eyed and alert little thing. However, I've been around so many 1 year olds, especially lately since 5 of my friends had 2 year old little boys. The last month or so he just seems less interactive than my friends kids at 1. Here are some websights with milestones of 10-11 month old babies... next to them I've marked if my nephew is doing it. You'll notice he isn't doing many. you can see why I worry about him. I feel like if he were placed with someone who knew about baby development and was worked with he would reach more milestones faster! My sister hardly ever played with him when she live here! She just has no clue about babies. I don't want him to be taken away, not really bu it's hard not to feel like I could do better. Please pray for him, and my sistter, and me! He is probably acting like a 6-8mth old right now.

http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/ActEarly/milestones_1year.html

by the end of a year

Social and Emotional

Shy or anxious with strangers ...... yes
Cries when mother or father leaves .... yes for his Mom or Grandma (my Mom)
Enjoys imitating people in his play ...no
Shows specific preferences for certain people and toys ....yes
Tests parental responses to his actions during feedings ....yes
Tests parental responses to his behavior ....no
May be fearful in some situations ....yes
Prefers mother and/or regular caregiver over all others .... yes
Repeats sounds or gestures for attention ... no
Finger-feeds himself ....yes
Extends arm or leg to help when being dressed ...no

7/11 doing pretty well here, which is an encourage ment. I worry about him emotionally.

Cognitive

Explores objects in many different ways (shaking, banging, throwing, dropping) ... yes
Finds hidden objects easily ... no
Looks at correct picture when the image is named ...no
Imitates gestures ...no
Begins to use objects correctly (drinking from cup, brushing hair, dialing phone, listening to receiver) ...no

1/5 now we can see why the Dr. thinks he is mentally delayed.

Language

Pays increasing attention to speech ... yes
Responds to simple verbal requests ...no
Responds to “no” ...no
Uses simple gestures, such as shaking head for “no” ...no
Babbles with inflection (changes in tone) ...yes
Says “dada” and “mama” ... dad but only as a sound...
Uses exclamations, such as “Oh-oh!” ...no
Tries to imitate words ...no

language is delayed.... 2/8

Movement

Reaches sitting position without assistance ....no
Crawls forward on belly .... army crawl
Assumes hands-and-knees position ...no
Creeps on hands and knees ...no
Gets from sitting to crawling or prone (lying on stomach) position ...no
Pulls self up to stand ...no
Walks holding on to furniture ...no
Stands momentarily without support ...no
May walk two or three steps without support ...no
Hand and Finger Skills.....yes
Uses pincer grasp ....no
Bangs two objects together ...yes
Puts objects into container...no but never show this
Takes objects out of container ...yes
Lets objects go voluntarily ... no
Pokes with index finger ... no
Tries to imitate scribbling

4/16

http://www.baptistonline.org/health/library/chil3054.asp

Most babies should be able to . . .
11 month old child

Say mama and dada to the right parents ... no, he says "dadadada...but just as a sound, not to his "dad"
Wave goodbye ...no
Clap hands ... I'm not sure but, I don't think so.
Understand the word no but doesn’t always obey it ... no
Stand alone momentarily ... no, he isn't even sitting up well on his own.
Play ball and patty cake ... no
Some babies will probably be able to . . .
Say one word other than mama or dada .... not intentionally. sometimes he babbles nanna
Drink from a cup independently ...no
Indicate what he or she wants with gestures other than crying ... no
Imitate others ... only sticking out his tongue and opening mouth
Put toys or object into a container .... I think he could if he wanted to but hasn't yet
Some babies could possibly be able to . . .
Stand alone well ... no
Babble that sounds like her or she is talking a foreign language ...yes
Say two or more words other than mama or dada ...no
Drink from a cup independently ...no
Understand simple instructions ...no
Walk well ...no

at best: 3 out of 20

http://www.yourbabytoday.com/

This is for 11 month old babies

Your baby now walks while holding onto furniture....no
He uses the "pincer grasp" to pick up tiny objects between his thumb and forefinger.... yes
Baby can stand alone. .... no
He drinks from a cup. ...no
Baby says "mama" and "dada." ... dada only as a babble word "da da da da da..."
He says a few other one-syllable words (like "hi"). .....no
Baby communicates his wants with gestures and words instead of cries. ...no
He talks in conversational gibberish. .... yes

2 out of 8 >

blessings in abundance

I am so blessed.

I am blessed by my teachers this term who are giving me as much time as I need to turn in my assignments so I can spend time with my family and not worry about it. I don't get internet connection on my computer and I don't have the program I need to write my papers on at my dads. They want me to spend as much time with my family as possible during this time.

I am blessed by my life long best friend Alicia, who is finally starting to call me on things and challenge me to "just do this..." or "can't you do that..." I am blessed by our walks, by our talks, that I can spend easter and the 4th of July with her family. I am blessed that when I don't bring pants to change into once it's dark, she lets me wear hers. I'm blessed that even though she's not a big fan of animals, she always wants to walk the other dog so he doesn't get left behind. I'm blessed that she knows when something is wrong, that she will come at the drop of a hat to help me or anyone in my family.

I am blessed God blessed me with such a friend. Our Moms were best friends before we were born. We are 15 days apart. We really are life long best friends. Sometimes I get angry that God gave me to sisters with depression and slight mental retardation. I get mad my Mom miscarried at least 1 baby girl, possible 2 and I wonder if they would have been my "normal" sisters. When I tell God I'm angry, he pops a picture of Alicia into my head and heart.

I am blessed to have amazing women in my life to mentor me, love me, guide me, pray for me, and all my family! I am blessed by my neighbor Rachel who always takes time to come outside and listen to me vent. I am blessed by Kiesha who encourages me to become the best Woman I can be and who just understands me and my position with my family so well. I'm blessed by Joanna who leads by example, is an amazing mom that puts her family first, who calls me when I'm out of line and isn't afraid to tell me when she thinks I may have lowered my standards, who has shown me what a healthy God fearing family can look like and who showed me that this can happen even if you came from a less than perfect family situation.

I am blessed by Kaleb, Joannas husband, who has been an amazing example of what a Godly man is like. Who is willing to make sacrifices so his kids get the best possible life. Who tutors me in math and leads me to get my first A ever in a math class and doesn't make me feel stupid when I can't see the obvious answer, or I miss a step, or erase my minus sign to make a plus sign instead of just adding a vertical line : )

I'm blessed my Dad has always been around, and made it his conviction to take care of his kids and his wife, no matter what. That he views my education as valuable and worth investing in, even if I really want to be a stay at home mom.

I am blessed by my sweet puppy who makes me smile every day, like today when she finally realized the new toy I bough her after her surgery has a squeeker in it ans she starter tossing it in the air squeeking it over and over again.

I'm blessed by the neighbor kids I babysatt years ago, who still run up to me for hugs, even the 16 year old boy : ) . And when someone asks who I am, they say Violet, our babysitter.

I'm blessed by seeing an old friend sing at the church I went to visit today, and watching as she recognized me in the crowed, smiled and nodded at me! Then gave me a big hug after service!

I am blessed that I am able to help my Dad and my grandma out, and show them the love of Christ right now.

I am blessed that God knows JUST what I need to hear in the sermon.

I am blessed I can know that the bible is the most reliable historical document and that it's words are truth and it's promises are for me, today.

I am blessed that my God is faithful, that he deems me worthy to be saved and to be bought with his blood!

I am blessed that my friend K. gets to go camping with me in a couple weeks and help fill the void of my sister not being their.

I am blessed....

It's been a tough week

Well, my 22nd year definately started of with a bang, a not so pleasant one.

Ok, so that day wasn't as horrible as I made it seem. Tuesday, July 2nd I celebrated my birthday. I worked 12 hours. But, the boys excitedly gave me their present, 2 Natalie grant c.d's, a cute bag, a water bottle, and they are now sponsoring a little boy from Africa since I'm sponsoring a little girl. He shares Ben's birthday which, coincidently is the day before mine. Once Mom got home, we bagged bedtime and they took me out to Baskin Robins, which was really nice. I ended the day by writing a paper. I did however get to bed before midnight.

Wednesday I was grumpy, irriated, and plain did NOT want to work. I had no choice though, and it was a busy day for the boys. I ended up not even hearing my phone ring, and as I pulled out of the driveway I checked my messages to learn my grandpa had passed. We knew it was coming as grandma dicontinued dialysis but, it came way faster, and it was a big blow. It's easy to pretend the inevitable won't really happen... at least "not yet"...

Today my Dad has surgery. My brother worked all day so, I was the only one around. I gave him a ride to the hospital, ran to get groceries, went to my Dr. appt. and back to the hospital. His Hernia was bigger than they had anticpated but, the surgery went well and while we didn't get home until about 6, he is doing quite well and pretty mobile. I'm suprised.

I did some more grocery shopping, picked up a new collar and name tag for my brothers dog, and a new water bowl for the dogs. I also picked up a spedometer for myself and a water proof watch. My friend Alicia and I went for a good long walk, showed off some funny YouTube videos to one another and it was a good end to the day. I wasn't the best of company I'm sure. I'm dissapointed because tomorrow was suppose to be the 1st day off we both had in forever and guess what....she got called in to work 1-5. Grrr...

Another good friend, mentor and AMAZING woman in my life is moving to Texas on the 11th. We were suppose to get plenty of time together one monday. We were going to meet at a cute cafe, then go for a super long walk. Talk bunches, and say "goodbye". Well, I still get to see her but, different time of day, different timing, and much shorter period of time.

It just to much dissappointment for a day.

Please pray:
I will be able to get all my school work done and done well
my grandma heals and griefs in a healthy manner
My current HA goes away
My sisters heart will soften enough to come to the service...I know one day she'll regret not
I have a good day tomorrow, and over all, a better week!
I'd feel Christ's peace and rest all over me. I need is restoration now.

till next time....

My biological grandpa (my Dads Dad) died when I was 1 1/2 years old. My Moms dad ran out on her when she was still unborn. My Moms step Dad just never really liked me. He is a very stoic person and we just never were close.
My Grandmother remarried when I was about 9. Her first marriage was painful and hard. My grandpa came to know Christ at the end but, she never knew what a Godly marriage was like. When she married Beryl, that all change. He was a sweet teddy bear of a man, tall and big. He adopted all of her grandchildren as his own. He kissed me on the forehead when I gave him a hug. He treated my Grandma like royalty, and always let her have her way. He was a great companion for her.
Beryl has struggled with his health for the past 3 years. Today he peacefully went to be will Jesus. We miss him.

Please pray for my family. We are under attack. Tomorrow my Dad has surgery, my sister is having seizures (small ones but still) and increased tremors....it's been a long road. My Grandma hasn't been doing well either. We are praying that knowing Beryl is gone will help her get better. She had been living in limbo and not knowing what would happen for a long time. We are praying she can grieve and then heal.