A boy and 2 girls

I have dreamed many times of being a mother, of having a baby, or of being pregnant. However, I have never dreamed of having a boy, until last night.

It was a very odd dream and didn't really make much sense. I was being a surrogate Mom for a family member. For half the dream I was carrying for my Mom and half I was carrying for my sister. For some reason we decided to start the labor early, and at home. I had some sort of medicine I had been given to start labor. I was suppose to be nearly full term. So I took the medicine. Then, I looked in the mirror after several hours. For some reason I had only had 1 ultrasound, and had never felt the baby move. I looked really small and randomly asked my Mom, who was with me, if she really thought I was pregnant. She laughed at me. All the sudden I had what I presume was a contraction because my stomach got really hard. Suddenly it also got really big as well. Like the contraction caused the baby to move and I suddenly got huge. Very weird. Then, the baby began to kick, you could see the entire imprint of the foot, and I could grab it (My use to tell me that I would do this). I felt it odd that I had only had one contraction and had no desire to push. I went to the bathroom, and suddenly their was the tiniest baby girl. My mom helped me get to the bed, and while I did not dream details, pretty soon I had delivered 3 babies, two girls and a boy. They were obviously not healthy, the girls were rediculously small. My mom wrapped the boy, and one girl in a blanket. She handed the girls to me. I asked what about a blanked for the other girl. She said the baby was to small and fragile for a blanket. So, I grabbed some toilet paper and wrapped her in that. We rushed all of us to the hospital. Before we got to the hospital the smallest baby girl died. She weighed in at less then a pound. The other two babies were whisked to separate nurseries. The boy was 3 1/2 pounds, and the other girl only 1 1/2 pds. NO one knew I was carrying triplets. I had some complications and was whisked away myself to be worked on. I was devastated. Even those these weren't technically my babies, I had carried them, and at this point they were going to be my Moms, which makes them my brothers and sisters.

It took a long time, and I did not know any information about the babies because my Mom had went with them to the nurseries. I had some sort of surgery but was given no pain medicine, and no one would listen to me when I asked for something, anything, even tylenol. They decided to have me room with a 9 year old cancer patient. Soon after, I heard that the other baby girl had also died. She has something terribly wrong with her stomach. They thought it was something else and they did not treat it soon enough.

I waited a long time to hear about the baby boy until I finally got out of bed and began to hobble to the nursery. I stopped at a gift shop and looked in. Their my Mom was, holding a bundle in a blue blanket. I got really emotional but could not find a way into the shop. I tapped on the glass to get my Moms attention, and motioned for her to come closer to the glass window. She held the most beautiful, perfect baby boy up, with big eyes. I just broke down crying, full of grief for the loss of the 2 girls, and full of hope and joy for this baby boy that made it. And for some reason, at this point, the baby was mine.

Then, I woke up.

Weird dream huh? When I woke up my first thoughts were "I had a BOY?" I have been dreaming about having a girl, or several girls for years. Never have I dreamed of having a boy. I've also never dreamed anything like this before. The emotions were very realistic, even if the whole thing did not make sense.

A family provided!

I am so excited about this! Awhile ago I did a post about Reece's rainbow. 4 of the children I posted pictures about, orphans who SO Needed homes, have since had families commit to their adpotions! God is so good and I am SO greatful these kids get to go home!

I wish I knew their families.

THose show found homes: Halle, Sophie, Garret, and Andrew!!

FFF # 21: Family Photo

Here is my Mom and I, with Pinoccio and Jimminy Cricket, at Disney world last February. I'd never had a vacation just Mommy and Me. It was very, very special, and I enjoyed being an only child for a week! The bond my Mom and I created is inexplicable. Mom and I are so NOT kindred spirits. I love her immensly but, apart from our love for babies, we are very different, and we rarely see eye to eye. This trip though, really helped us to connect on a level we had never had a chance. I got to know my Mom in a new light, and understand her a little better. We still have our moments however, they are fewer, and we both ask for forgiveness more often. I love and cherish her. I thank God for sparing her life on many occasions.

My favorite family photo is not on my current up and running computer, it's tucked away on in internal hard drive, which is incompatible with this computer, go figure. It consists of the only picture of my ENTIRE immediate family, all 3 siblings, myself, and both parents, since I was 4 years old. It even has my little nephew in it, in the tell tale bump on my sisters normally flat tummy. It was taken 1 1/2 years ago on my Mom's birthday, and is the last picture of my family whole. Much has happened in the last year and a half, and that picture, framed, in my room, gives me hope, and helps me have faith that God CAN restore, even us. Ironically and unitentionally, everyone except me is wearing a white shirt :). I truly am the black sheep!!! Lol.

Goodbye to our sweet neighbor

I must be honest, I can't remember his name but, he was a sweet old man. He loved his dogs, and cared for us all. He paid the young boys to mow his lawn and rake his leaves and didn't mind if they and other jumped in the piles a few times before picking them up. He had his habit of getting the newspaper early in the morning, and lit up like a Christmas tree when someone stopped to chat with him. He always had a friendly smile and a little wave for everyone who met his eye. I enjoyed seeing him and was fond of his presence. It seems like he has been the sweet elderly widowed neighbor for ever so long, even though I remember when his wife was alive, and when she died. I remember his trustee yellow lab who got him threw that time, and who accomponied him on many a fishing trips. I distinctly remember him saying he wouldn't be getting another dog when that one left him. I soon saw him bring home two black lab pups.

Today, his paper was left in it's receiving box, and a neighbor I always considered nosy and meddlesome saw it right away. Knowing he was diabetic she immediately called paramedics. He passed away last night, apparently in his sleep. I will miss seeing him when we both venture outdoors early in the morning, or when he loads up his dogs to go on a fishing trip. I'm glad he did not meet the fate of another neighbor a block or so down, who went undiscovered for 2 months. I am glad we never saw the day when him and his belongings were loaded up and moved to a nursing home. He was active and happy until he breathed his last. I'm unsure of it but, something tells me, maybe his smile and demeanor, or his lack of the "grumpy old man" attitude, he is in heaven, reunited with his wife.

Please lift up his family, I know he at least has a son left behind who came to visit him often. I can't help but worry and wonder about the two dogs he left behind, animal lover that I am.
It will be odd to have new neighbors in that house. He has lived their since I was a child.

She....Is....BEAUTIFUL

I had such a good time visiting family in California the last two weeks. It's amazing to me how you can "barely" know someone, and feel such a deep love for them. My cousins have never lived close to me. Growing up we saw them about every 5 years. Yet, I feel so much affection for each of them. As adults, we have taken it upon ourselves to build relationships with one another, even those who did not show much interest as teens and young adults.

This time I had the joy of spending most of my time with my cousin Quin and her daughters Jaelynnn and Ashlynn. Ashlynn is the sweetest, noisiest, stinky baby :) . She is so tiny and precious, and very good, only cries to eat, sleeps a lot, and smiles in her sleep constantly. Even though she is breast fed her poo's are especially stinky, who knows why. Her Momma says she never had that sweet newborn smell. She grunts and makes noises all the time, even in the deepest sleep. She still tries to suck on your arm, neck, or whatever else her mouth can catch on, if she is hungry. Their is nothing more precious than a new born baby. My favorite thing to do is bath kids. It is such a fun, intimate time. They are coralled, happy, relaxed, etc. Ashlynn's umbelical cord had just fallen of before I arrived, so I had the honor of giving her first real bath, and every bath she needed the entire time I was down there. It is amazing to me how fast they change and grow. I could see it happening before my very eyes that Ashlynn was changing, losing that brand new infant look, and getting the sweet baby features, gaining weight, losing her preemie wrinkles, growing out of her preemie outfits. Her diapers went from being overlapped to the tabs being and inch apart. I am going to miss not seeing this little one grow up!

Here are some of my favorite photos of the beautiful Ashlynn Grace:

Trust in Him at ALL times

Regarding the outcome of the election, I couldn't have said it better myself then Renee at myspecialks.blogspot.com:

GOD IS STILL ON HIS THRONE! HE IS NOT SURPRISED BY THIS! (Psalm 47:8God reigns over the nations; God is seated on his holy throne.)

It is so true. I had a peace about this whole thing. I did get nervous today as I began to imagine placing my vote, I prayed and hard. Each time I have prayed, I just felt OK, until today. However, when I read Renee's post, I felt at peace again because she spoke truth.

I'm still afraid of what this all means. Did our nations make a good choice? Did they make the right choice? What is too come? No one REALLY knows. But HE knows. Here is some more truth I find VERY comforting.

Let us consider this verse: Hebrews 12:2 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

No matter what you voted, or what you think let us do this, let us FIX OUR EYES ON JESUS. Do not fret about the man that man put in leadership, focus on the HOLY ONE On the throne above all thrones.



This is what I know for sure:
GOD IS MY REFUGE,
God is my strength,
He is my ever present help in time of need
My comfort,
My shelter
A strong tower

Psams 18:2 The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

Psalm 91:2I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."

Psalm 62:8 Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.

2nd samuel 22:3

He is a HEALER, and he can use ANYONE to heal our nation, and our world.

He knows the plans.

I know the plans I have for you says the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for hope and a future.... Jeremiah 29:11



For everything there is a time and a season.
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to uproot. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to weep and a time to laugh. A time to mourn and a time to dance. A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them. A time to embrace and a time to refrain. A time to search and a time to give up. A time to keep and a time to throw away. A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be silent and a time to speak. A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace (Ecclesiastes 3: 1-9)
I trust God as my leader, and I will back up the leaders HE ultimately places with prayer.

FFF #20 Pumpkins

I'm twisting this weeks theme a little bit. We arent' really into halloween. Or at least, my Mom, and I. I still have conflicted feelings about it becuase of my faith and my upbringing. It's not really important to me to figure out what I believe about it since I am not married and do not have little ones. Pumpkin patch was never a tradition for us. So, I'm sharing picturse of the newest little pumpkin in our family! I flew to Ca. to visit my cousins, of which included my cousin Quin and her beautiful new daughter Ashlynn Grace, born Oct 9th and weighing 5pds 14 ounces at a month premature. She is two weeks old now and the sweetest, tiniest baby girl! And lets not leave out big sister Jaelynn Noel in the last picture holding her new baby sister. Jae Jae calls me Aunty Violet and she is a sweet heart. Every morning she gets on my bed, taps my forehead and says "Will you get me cereal and we can play candy land!". I'm enjoying my partial vacation (no work but still tons of school. Now, without further adu: The little pumpkins!