FFF: # 22 GIVING kisses, and blowing WISHES!

I twisted the theme a little bit this week for two reasons:
I wanted to show off pictures from my recent trip to California visiting family AND I've been wanting to share these photos of the little boy I nannied (and still babysitt for) since I took them :) ...

This is me, giving my brand new little "Niece" Ashlynn Grace, some love.

Jaelynn Loving on Ashlynn (she's the big sister!)
Quin, Hiedi, and myself are cousins, Here is Hiedi's daughter Erin kissing and loving Quin's baby Ashlynn. She loved having Ashlynn around and walked around saying "Baby! Baby Nigh Nigh" Shhhhhhh....". So cute!
Caleb is such a cute little guy! On this day I taught Caleb how to make a wish and blow all the fuzzies off of a Dandilion
He was fascinated by it and giggled a lot

California from the ground up

Leaving California was bitter sweet. I loved seeing my family and snuggling my new born niece. I'm sad that the next time I see her she is likely to be walking and babbling, eating solid foods, etc.  I enjoyed the sunshine and getting to know my cousins more. I liked getting to do Jaelynns hair in fun and creative ways, and getting to know my cousins more. I really like spending time with my cousin Quin who is so gracious to always let me stay with her. But, I must admit, I was ready to go home. Ready for my own bed, for puppy kisses and snuggles from Kalika, to hold my sweet nephew and blow raspberries on his cheek, to smell the freshness after a down poor, and cozy up next to the wood stove with a novel..... To hug my Dad, and kiss my Mom, and even fight with my brother. Leaving home always makes you appreciate coming back, no matter how stressful, dysfunctional, and wet it is :). California has a beauty of it's own. I must say, it looks better from the sky :). It's a fun new perspective seeing the world from "up their". It's more whole. We can't see the whole picture like God can but when I fly, I feel like I'm getting a better view. I feel like I see the world, that is Gods creation, a little more the way HE sees it. He doesn't see the Mojave desert as too hot and bright, or the Seattle overcast as rainy and dull, it's all beauty to him. I wonder what other things we could have a better view of if we allowed God to lift us up a bit to see it, out of our own selfish ways, out of our poor circumstances, out of self pity, out of wordly views, and man made/found wisdom.... what could we see if we let God lift us above all of that, even just a few feet above it. Perspective is everything, and I want Gods perspective. I want his perspective of me, of my sister, of my grandmother, and my coworkers. Take my supervisor. He does not see her like I do, he doesn't see a lying, abortion supporting, back stabbing, tramp like my coworkers call her behind her back. He sees a hurt, broken, lonely, confused young woman who needs to be loved. He would not repay evil for evil because he sees how broken she is. What if I see her the way God does? What if I rise about what my coworkers see, and treat her the way I would if I saw her how God sees her? Anyway, enough parables....here are the pictures:

Washington...from the sky

All of these are pictures of Washington state as I flew home. THey are in reverse order, the first being the the last picture I took. Isn't my state BEAUTIFUL. NOt bad for a "partly cloudy" November day in Seattle. After spending 2 weeks in California, I was so happy to see tall evergreens again. California is beautiful in it's own way, and I do appreciate it. But, it's just different here. I spent some of my time in the Sierra Nevada Mountains, and while it has trees, they are just different. Washington trees are fuller, and their is grass everywhere, shrubs, bushes, FOLIAGE. I am learning to appreciate it more and more.

Multi tasking

My cousin snapped this silly shot of me and her girls. Multi tasking at it's finest. I was holding Ashlynn when Jaelynn decided to jump on my foot and as me to bounce her. So, I was holding Ashlynn with one hand (not hard when she weighs less then 6pds!) and lifting my leg up and down with Jaelynn on it. It was surely a work out. Now, if I were able to cook with my free hand while doing all this, I'd say I was ready to be a mom ;).  

A boy and 2 girls

I have dreamed many times of being a mother, of having a baby, or of being pregnant. However, I have never dreamed of having a boy, until last night.

It was a very odd dream and didn't really make much sense. I was being a surrogate Mom for a family member. For half the dream I was carrying for my Mom and half I was carrying for my sister. For some reason we decided to start the labor early, and at home. I had some sort of medicine I had been given to start labor. I was suppose to be nearly full term. So I took the medicine. Then, I looked in the mirror after several hours. For some reason I had only had 1 ultrasound, and had never felt the baby move. I looked really small and randomly asked my Mom, who was with me, if she really thought I was pregnant. She laughed at me. All the sudden I had what I presume was a contraction because my stomach got really hard. Suddenly it also got really big as well. Like the contraction caused the baby to move and I suddenly got huge. Very weird. Then, the baby began to kick, you could see the entire imprint of the foot, and I could grab it (My use to tell me that I would do this). I felt it odd that I had only had one contraction and had no desire to push. I went to the bathroom, and suddenly their was the tiniest baby girl. My mom helped me get to the bed, and while I did not dream details, pretty soon I had delivered 3 babies, two girls and a boy. They were obviously not healthy, the girls were rediculously small. My mom wrapped the boy, and one girl in a blanket. She handed the girls to me. I asked what about a blanked for the other girl. She said the baby was to small and fragile for a blanket. So, I grabbed some toilet paper and wrapped her in that. We rushed all of us to the hospital. Before we got to the hospital the smallest baby girl died. She weighed in at less then a pound. The other two babies were whisked to separate nurseries. The boy was 3 1/2 pounds, and the other girl only 1 1/2 pds. NO one knew I was carrying triplets. I had some complications and was whisked away myself to be worked on. I was devastated. Even those these weren't technically my babies, I had carried them, and at this point they were going to be my Moms, which makes them my brothers and sisters.

It took a long time, and I did not know any information about the babies because my Mom had went with them to the nurseries. I had some sort of surgery but was given no pain medicine, and no one would listen to me when I asked for something, anything, even tylenol. They decided to have me room with a 9 year old cancer patient. Soon after, I heard that the other baby girl had also died. She has something terribly wrong with her stomach. They thought it was something else and they did not treat it soon enough.

I waited a long time to hear about the baby boy until I finally got out of bed and began to hobble to the nursery. I stopped at a gift shop and looked in. Their my Mom was, holding a bundle in a blue blanket. I got really emotional but could not find a way into the shop. I tapped on the glass to get my Moms attention, and motioned for her to come closer to the glass window. She held the most beautiful, perfect baby boy up, with big eyes. I just broke down crying, full of grief for the loss of the 2 girls, and full of hope and joy for this baby boy that made it. And for some reason, at this point, the baby was mine.

Then, I woke up.

Weird dream huh? When I woke up my first thoughts were "I had a BOY?" I have been dreaming about having a girl, or several girls for years. Never have I dreamed of having a boy. I've also never dreamed anything like this before. The emotions were very realistic, even if the whole thing did not make sense.

A family provided!

I am so excited about this! Awhile ago I did a post about Reece's rainbow. 4 of the children I posted pictures about, orphans who SO Needed homes, have since had families commit to their adpotions! God is so good and I am SO greatful these kids get to go home!

I wish I knew their families.

THose show found homes: Halle, Sophie, Garret, and Andrew!!

FFF # 21: Family Photo

Here is my Mom and I, with Pinoccio and Jimminy Cricket, at Disney world last February. I'd never had a vacation just Mommy and Me. It was very, very special, and I enjoyed being an only child for a week! The bond my Mom and I created is inexplicable. Mom and I are so NOT kindred spirits. I love her immensly but, apart from our love for babies, we are very different, and we rarely see eye to eye. This trip though, really helped us to connect on a level we had never had a chance. I got to know my Mom in a new light, and understand her a little better. We still have our moments however, they are fewer, and we both ask for forgiveness more often. I love and cherish her. I thank God for sparing her life on many occasions.

My favorite family photo is not on my current up and running computer, it's tucked away on in internal hard drive, which is incompatible with this computer, go figure. It consists of the only picture of my ENTIRE immediate family, all 3 siblings, myself, and both parents, since I was 4 years old. It even has my little nephew in it, in the tell tale bump on my sisters normally flat tummy. It was taken 1 1/2 years ago on my Mom's birthday, and is the last picture of my family whole. Much has happened in the last year and a half, and that picture, framed, in my room, gives me hope, and helps me have faith that God CAN restore, even us. Ironically and unitentionally, everyone except me is wearing a white shirt :). I truly am the black sheep!!! Lol.