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Something to happen immediately ( or at least VERY soon)
Something to happen in the near future
Something that will change my life forever in deep ways. Something hard. Something to grow me, challenge me, strengthen me, and cause me to lean on Christ ever so heavily (something in my somewhat distant future, depending on your definition of distant)
I know the very soon something is dealing with my PERSONALITY. Not to long ago God helped me define personality and character from one another. My Moms family hates my dads family, and they don't like me too well. They say I am too much like my Dad. While my Dad has become and AMAZING man, who has a huge heart for his very broken family, I know why that part of my family looks so down on them. One day God just showed me my personality consisted of things like what I enjoy doing, what I am good at, and just those little things that make up "me" reading, swimming, speaking my mind, knowing what I want, loud, opinionated, a night owl.... these things are all me, they all have a time and a place....I have traits from my Mom too, LOVE CHILDREN AND PETS, enjoy cooking, like flowers, overwhelmed in a messy environment, Hate having my hair in my eyes, like to be exceptionally matching.
Character are those qualities I have which only God can give me. THey come from him, and they include morals, faith, and how I interact with people. I love caring for those less fortunate than me, I don't swear, I strive for purity, I pray, my family is one of my top priorities, I try to see the good in all people, I am usually quick to forgive and don't hold a grudge.
Character is what is important.
Since Christ has defined those too, and given me freedom in that, to know that what I posses of my Dad is actually GOOD, if I use if for good and implement it wisely in my life, he has now taken a new direction.
I have Character flaws. It is time to dig deep, work hard and erase some of those flaws.
two songs from this weekend have been speaking to me deeply:
Psalm 119:
May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to you, pleasing to you you (repeat 1x)
Your my rock and my redeemer, your the reason that I sing
I desire to be a blessing, in your eyes
Every hour, every moment,
Lord I want to be YOUR servant
I desire to be a blessing in your eyes.
(When we first started singing this song, I was beating myself up, the words of my mouth are not always pleasing to my Lord and Savior, by the time we reached the second verse, I felt I was no where near a blessing to anyone, let along Christ. I almost did not par take in communion because I felt so dirty. I prayed trying to set my heart right, if I could. I heard Christ's still small voice whisper "But, you ARE a blessing in my eyes, you are". If that wasn't enough to bring tears to my eyes and joy to my heart....
Then we sang this song...
" I"m standing here to testify "Oh the lord is good"
To sing of how you changed my life " "
I was bound by hate and pride " "
Never knowing of this Light " "
I did not think I could have peace "Oh the Lord is good"
Trapped inside by fear and SHAME " "
You wiped away all of my fear and grief " "
When I believed upon your Name " "
Come to the light. come as you are.
You can be the friend of God.
Humble yourself, give him your HEART
HE WILL MEET YOU WHERE YOU ARE
Come to the light just as you are
FALL ON THE ROCK FOR THE WASTED YEARS
he will restore ALL that was lost
surrender now, his power is here.
Wow.... Christ will meet me where I am. He will restore my wasted year, and all that was lost in them. I needed that, to know Christ will meet me here, where I am at. I don't need to make a bunch of changes first. I need to humble myself. Which often means confession to myself, Him, and maybe a few others! I need things desperately restored.... my energy, my passion, my relationship with my sisters, my ability to sit still and listen for Gods voice....
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